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Tessa Welsh writes...

...about her experience while volunteering in the Kenya Orphanage program.

Diary Entries

· Moma Marys... Wild Wototo's (13th October 2006)
· Ngong Ngong (17th October 2006)
· Funny, Trajic, super savior, Private parts!!! (27th October 2006)
· Jambo bambooo!!! (5th November 2006)
· Marvelous Minds (11th November 2006)
· Schedules, smiles, burns and all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (18th November 2006)

Moma Marys... Wild Wototo's (13th October 2006)

Things here are good. Have been working at the orphanage and it looks like the new school that the previous volunteers started to build, will be finished next week, so the kids will have a proper floor and windows in the corrugated walls. The children are frustrated, cramped, with no desk space or facilities and are finding it very hard to concentrate... It has been a different experience to seeing other orphanages around Kibera and elsewhere. These kids at Mary's don't have discipline and you give them something and they just fight to get it off each other.... I understand why, because they don't own anything, they don't get attention from anyone and live their time in the dirt most of the day. They are all ravenous and a lot of them are sick or have worms....

But I found out about a youth development programme from another volunteer, that has been set up in Kibera and we are hoping to get a male volunteer from here to come and work with the kids maybe once a week. I think they need a male role model, as nearly all of them have no male figure in their lives. Their fathers are dead, and most of the adults in Kibera are struggling to find away to keep themselves and their families fed that there isn't much time given to the kids.

Me and the 2 other volunteers have talked to the teachers and Mary about the need for these kids to respect each other, to learn to share and to respect their teachers. There have been changes this week which is good, but there is a lot to be done. They are no longer aloud to run riot in the class room at break, they need to respect that space and the few desks they do have. I don't think the kids realise the importance of getting an education, and for them it is crucial more so for the fact that they have been born into such poverty.. There is little prospects for even those with basic education in Kibera, so to not have education is a ticket to disaster.

I took a mother to the clinic on wed as her baby Nelly is at the centre and has a really terrible bubbling rash over her body... this baby is the happiest baby ever its crazy cos she most be in discomfort.. Any way I got the mothers consent and we all went to the clinic. I paid for the baby to be registered and seen, and the doctor wanted a blood test for the mother to see whether the baby had contracted it from the mother. So I paid for that, and we waited...

We go back in and the doctor just says straight out to the mother 'you are HIV positive and you have Syphilis and you have given it to your baby', he also told her she would have to stop breast feeding... wow. I was shocked the mother just took the news, like everyone here just expects it and they are helpless to it, so they don't see the point in reacting. I talked to this woman for nearly 3 hours during all of this, she is my age 24. She has a 4year old son, and her husband died in February in a crash, and their expected baby was born in May. She has no support and is living with a friend in her 1 room shack. She goes and queues every day with a crowd of women to try and get work cleaning in a big house in town. She said she gets maybe 2/3 days a week if lucky, and 200 shillings for a day ( 1 pound 60pence to you and me!!) She can't afford to buy powder milk for the baby, and when she fed her in front of me it lasted all of 5 minutes. I asked and she said she maybe eats once a day if lucky. She doesn't have enough nutrients to make milk to feed her baby!

So I felt all kinds of strange, that I had opened up this whole can of worms for this woman, who isn't going to be able to afford the treatments to fix her baby.

I paid for her medication to get rid of her virus and the baby's and told her we would get her powdered milk and that she mustn't feed her baby... How saddening.

She has to go for counselling and treatment for her own HIV but I doubt she will go because it is when she has to go look for work.

That was very sad and frustrating. But their are a million stories like this, a woman approached me when she saw me helping Jemima and said 'my daughters sick, look at her, why wont you help me!' Sometimes you have to distance your self and remember what you came to do, to offer, love, support and teaching.

Anyway, that is enough blabbering.

To end on a happy one...when playing with the kids in the play ground at the other school, they sang and danced, it was brilliant, they all get involved and sing their wee hearts out, they were doing their little boogling dancing and winding their hips, it was brilliant…and every time a train goes past on the train track they sing to the train the same song, go safe train, go safe !Things are great though I am not taking life to be all serious. There is dancing and laughing with everyone, and I dropped the first meal I had made all over the floor the other night so that is still causing belly laughs! And the kids are learning Tessa English it's so funny, they have started copying my silly words and accent! Ooot oohhh no one will ever understand them!

Ngong Ngong (17th October 2006)

Well I am very well although covered in wee today and am locked out so can't shower, ah well the perks of the job... Some good news, baby Nelly is looking better, her rash is clearing and the mother came into see me on Monday and had a chat she is well and wanting to continue with her appointments at the clinic for her HIV treatment so that's all very positive. She is still breast feeding but we talked about it and getting some powdered milk so she can stop doing this, especially when she is taking antibiotics.

I went to another volunteer's orphanage in Limuru on sat afternoon; this is in a rural area 45 minutes from Nairobi and its roving hills and greenery! What a change from Kibera and a welcome one I have to admit.

So we stayed the night at this orphanage and I was soooo impressed. The kids came running up (a usual greeting for us Mzungu!) and were shaking hands and welcoming us. Linda the other volunteer had brought them meat for dinner and chocolate for after! So the kids showed me round their house, they are so self-sufficient it's brilliant, they have cows, goats, chickens. They grow maize, spinach, cabbage, carrots, potatoes, corn, onion, so there is no shortage of food, which is the biggest difference to the Kibera orphanages. Also the space! They have the vegetable fields, a yard and grass to play on. They were drumming the whole time we where there. Music and religion seems to be the epicentre, which is such a solid positive core for these kids to have to keep them rooted. They dance and sing and drum when they play. They look after each other and respect each other. This is also a major difference to the children of Kibera.

So we danced and they had a fellowship, where they each said a prayer and sang a song, they were brilliant, and their English was impeccable. They start their day at 5.30: pray, then wash, eat and walk to school to start at 7.30, (a world away from the kids back home who complain about starting school at 9am!). The younger kids go home for lunch and then finish at 3pm, the older ones stay till 5 and don't have lunch! And they do chores in the evening! Its pretty eye opening, and not one of them complains. They all wanted to be doctors and lawyers when they were older and knew the importance of getting a good education and working hard!

So puts things in perspective, I think the major problem for the kids of Kibera is they have no escape, most have never left Kibera, they don't know what a city looks like - or Grass! How crazy. They don't have space to learn and grow, there is nothing they can call their own. There is no money to get them out of there and there is no money to pay for proper teachers to even educate them where they are!

So, on a fun note, we are trying to arrange a day trip for them, to the Giraffe centre, which is free for orphans and school groups, its also in a place called Karen so very beautiful... Hopefully they will go next week and then the new school should be ready to move into the week after. This new space I hope will have a positive effect on the kids and more concentrated time can be dedicated to the children.

Until next time x

Funny, Trajic, super savior, Private parts!!! (27th October 2006)

OK... Kenya week 3/4.... ta da, so found a dead man on the street, Friday morn not sure if I told you that but that was a treat at 7am as you can imagine....

Went to Lamu this weekend, which was amazing such a beautiful place, amazing architecture, winding narrow streets and beautiful carved doors dating back to 1759!!! Very peaceful, beautiful and a far cry from the intense, poverty stricken, cramped environment I am in normally. There are no cars, only donkeys... oh so funny I heard them talking to themselves in the mornings they are very sociable wee creatures...Anyway if I could have fitted one in my bag we know I would have.

So we went on an amazing trip to some islands, was stunning, like nothing I have ever seen! but wont go on cos know its freezing where most of you are! Ok so to make you feel better anyway, I broke my toe on a lump concrete the 2nd day, ha ha very funny Tessa ! I got hives and both my arms were just a mass of swells! ha ha again. There was no electricity all 3 nights so dinner at a restaurant was candle light and a 3 hour waiting period! Ha ha romantic but not good for empty stomachs... No water on last night and pitch black. And to end the magical experience on the last day we were all (to spare you the gross details) sick by mouth and bum!! Ha ha....But it was my best weekend ever so I feel I came out of it pretty well all in all.

Anyhow, back to the work. It was a tough weekend for some of the Kids. Nelly the baby nearly passed away on Friday, but amazingly is still with us! I was shocked when I saw her after the weekend as she was half the size she was 3 days earlier. I took her and mother to Lawatowto, a clinic that I found out about that does free testing and then provides free drugs for kids with HIV. So hopefully this baby will be feeling better soon. 2 Kids got malaria over the weekend and Phoebe's (who's HIV positive) mum is really sick and has Aids so not sure how long she will be with us!

So a series of intense weekends for the kids... We went on our day trip today though to the animal sanctuary so some happiness for them. This was amazing. I made 70 nutella sandwiches last night and me and Karen carried that 140 biscuits and 70 bananas 40 minutes to Marys' this morning!! Heavy…but thoroughly enjoyed by all, so worth it.

On the way to Marys centre though me and karen are coming to the rail road and see a huge crowd of people! Unfortunately in Kibera this means only one thing, someone died/got murdered! It's sad to say but this always musters a crowd. So we keep are heads down and swiftly race on....found out from a local that a guy was murdered in his house and his private parts where chopped off! I am not sure which order this came in but, it doesn't bear to think about!!!! Anyway we have a trip to do so onwards we go…but reflect with the thought 'Kibera after dark = big fat NO NO!'

We get to Mary's and all the 60 kids (minus the babies) are in their best dress all waiting! So cute they are so excited, the road down to Mary's centre is being re-laid. This is great, but the process to do this is unbelievable. When I say laboured that is an understatement. They came down in a huge truck chucking huge boulders off onto the dirt path. Hitting kids on the way, one of which has a broken ankle to show for it and she is lucky that's all she has. Anyway they are basically pick axing the boulders down to a fine gravel!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god, I almost wanted to laugh, but this is progress in Kibera! My new rationale for any of these obscured experiences is 'well this is Kenya!'. This is any locals answer to anything...

Any how the kids loved their trip... none of them have ever been out of Kibera so even the bus trip was exciting, 2 of them pooed themselves and to be honest I think I would of to if I was one of them, just from shear excitement! hee hoo anyway we managed to squeeze and I mean squeeze, 74 people on a 40 seater bus! Again I would definitely have been arrested if this was Britain, but hey risk assessment and teacher to pupil ratio is non existent here. We all got there and back in one piece and we didn't loose any one so a great success.

On a lighter ending note, Emma a volunteer saved a baby's life yesterday with her ingenious improvisation. Basically she was asked to check a woman giving birth and when she got their found the cleaner had given birth to a baby who was lying next to the mother blue, not breathing and still attached! She resuscitated the baby and after 30minutes! the baby breathed... then the doctor came through and tried to blame Emma (a nurse) for the incident. The baby then stopped breathing again, and they have no facilities, i.e. oxygen, or any thing, so Emma got the mother/baby got in a taxi, made a breathing tube with some card and breathed for the baby all the way to the hospital! Crazy antics but the norm to most, no one even batted an eye lid not even the mother!

I am great, but still reminding myself this is not one big crazy dream...

Take care and wrap up.

all my love x x x x x

Jambo bambooo!!! (5th November 2006)

Hello everyone... how are we all....

Kenya has been crazy this week due to a torrential rain storm. The roads turned to rivers and Kibera was a heavenly site, 2 inches of sewagey mud.!

The kitchen shack at Marys flooded and we continued to cook lunch in there with rain pouring through the roof... My shoes are now unrecognisable, and I cleverly wore long baggy trousers which by the end of the day were fully saturated in Kibera love mud! ummm lovely, my skin is now ingrained with Kenyan dirt!

So this place turns to chao in the rain, the roads really do turn into swampy sinking grounds so you naturally just add around an hour to any journey you are making...

There has been amazing developments this week with the new school, Macarena the other volunteer has finally got her arse in gear and after 4 weeks finally rocked up with cash so the whole buisness of finishing the school can begin... She has funds!!! (and her dads credit card), so she is insisting on buying everything needed to get the school up and running which is great... So they started leveling out the ground which will be concreted in and outside the school so the kids will have an area to play in outside that isn't just a boggy dirt mess.

We have a new volunteer starting on monday too who is a teacher and works with special ed kids so I think she will do amazing things for the kids and the teachers at marys... I am still getting hit up for money everyday for mary, the newest one which I just laugh histerically at is ' so when you get back tessie make sure and book my plane ticket to britain and then post it to me!!'''''

ha ha, and friday was a tiring day on the hit up front. Got hassled about 3 times, people running after me and then making small chat, 'where are you from' etc and then the line 'Oh really, because i want to move to the UK, so maybe we could email/hang out and get to know each other!" errr what ever, this Mzungu is not interested....

I actually had a really horrible moment in the evening that left me feeling really hopeless about things here... I was walking home and a woman greeted me she was older and was very friendly, so I talked to her for a while and she was telling me about friends she had in the UK. Anyway I said goodbye and she walked off and I went home thinking, 'wow how endering, that people here are just so friendly and take the time to make conversation with people and really listen...'

I was thinking how in the west everyone is so busy and always in such a hurry to get to the next place. That there is no compassion in people as they are so internalised and wrapped up in their own lives.

So I get home and go read in my room, and theres aknock on the door. I hear Maya sounding a little confused, she shouts me that there is someone at the door for me...

I knew as soon as I heard the door that it was the woman I just spoke to. So I go to the door. she apologised for interrupting but said she had loved talking to me and then started her story about how she was living with her sister who is sick and she can't afford the rent or food. And can she do some jobs for me washing or cooking.... I was alittle gobsmacked that she had actually waited till I had gone, then followed me home into the apartment block and up 3 flights of stairs and found the apartment on the top floor! Anyway I told her I wished I could help her but that we already had a help in the house, and then she just said can you not give me some money... Her eyes were so soulfull and had a look of such desperation, it was too much. she had grabbed my hand and was literally 10cm from my face and I just wanted to cry... I told her I couldn't do that and that I was so sorry. She said ok and I told her she would find work and she said yes God would save her! I said goodbye and that I had to go, and prized my hand from hers and shut the door!

I thought about it for a long time after she left.

That is just one in a million people who are all in the same desperate situation, who have almost lost all hope. I think its that the scale of the poverty here is just so great. Unlike in our western worlds, these people are a majority rather than a minority. No-one should have to struggle so much, on a daily basis, just to survive. But thats what the majority here are doing. Its just about basic survival, and anything else is just a bonus!

So where do you start.

I suppose that one moment made me feel completely swamped by the scale of the poverty here and just so helpless. But then there is only defeatism in thinking this way. I know it is beyond one human beings power to solve the injustices of the world, but we can each strive and work in our own small way, toward making changes happen.

So sorry for the heaviness of this email and by no means is it all doom and gloom, I actually feel very inspired and positive right now...

I have been thinking about and reading this little Buddist prayer, which has helped to make some sense out of everything I have seen and been involved in here;

"GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE."

lots of love and laughter to all of you, it is after all the best high there is!

x x x x x x x x x x x x

Marvelous Minds (11th November 2006)

Habari ye leo lovely people!!!!.. I hope you are all well and in good spirits...

Well I am approaching my 6th week here and what mountain of experiences and journeys in this short time.... Let me start with the Mighty Meeting...

Today we took all the teachers at Marys and Mary to java coffee shop at Adams to hold a meeting about the New school and the future of Marys. In the weeks that I have spent at Marys, I can't say it has been all positive forward progress. There have been many frustrations felt by myself, teachers and the children alike, and at times I can admit to feeling a sense of hopelessness and despair at the scale of the problems and difficulties in the project I was volunteering for. There is so much to be done, and space, resources and teaching expertise are all things which they do not have, and equally these are all important components needed for making this place function as a school...

So me and the new volunteer Laura sat down and looked at what needed to happen in order for the school to move forward and develop. The new site is being developed as we speak and the concrete is being laid so it may be ready in a matter of weeks. This will be great and will make it so much easier to realise the potential for this new school.

So we finally have a curriculum book which outlines what we should be covering in the syllabus here. So Laura the new addition to the Mary family, has been compiling basic tests for each group of children to try and determine their abilities strengths and weaknesses, and is already and will continue to be a really great asset to Mary's project with her teaching expertise and also her enthusiasm. We drew up a weekly schedule which incorporates all the subjects they should be covering and this weekend we are going to compile lesson plans and Ideas for activities. In the new school, teaching will be so much easier as the children will have their own desk space and a safe place to keep a book etc so that resources don't get wrecked and lost...

Until we move we are going to try and implement the new time tables in the hopes that when we move to the new site the kids will be in a routine and will be used to the new structure of the day. It's amazing that they are learning anything just now really. And it is no surprise or shock that there are many children in each of the 4 groups who are very far behind and struggling in their abilities for their age group. They don't have even their own space on a desk in which to lean and write... There is no variety in the methods of teaching and learning as the teachers are not trained and have no teaching resources so are stretched to their fullest as it is. We want to help to add structure to their day and routine so they have some order in their crazy little lives, and also to add variety to the way they are learning which will allow them to increase their capacity to learn new things. It's crazy to think the amazing tools and aids we have in the western world and how much they help to inform and educate us. How do you learn what colour is unless you have that colour to reference. There is no reference material, no visual aids and much of what these children learn they do so through basic repetition. They have no context in which to apply this and so when you take something they have learnt out of the sequence or context in which they have learnt it, they are lost for words. All of them can recite the alphabet, numbers, some the days of the week, but if you select one letter out of sequence they don't know it…then they struggle to find an answer, they just shout random letters out. It really is all about how you teach I suppose. If you show them different ways of applying the same information they have learnt then they can recognise or retrieve that information and apply it in many different contexts.

So back to the meeting. It went well; we talked about trying to give the kids routine and structure and also how to make school enjoyable and interactive instead of just monotonous repetition, about positive reinforcement and about dealing with disruptive behaviour by removing the individual from the class rather than giving the trouble makers all the attention, which is what has been happening. And of course most of the kids act up as all they really want is attention and they know that they get it if they are disruptive, whereas if they sit quietly they are ignored. I didn't know how this kind of approach would be taken by the teachers but they seemed to respond to it. Laura talked about having a time out area where disruptive children would be placed and made to stand. Hopefully this can replace their current method of behaviour management which consists of whacking them with sticks...here's hoping.

Me and Laura are going to get to school for 8am in order to help the teachers prepare in the mornings and really try to make this work. Hopefully if we can get a system working our attempts to apply for funding for resources and support for teaching training and wages for teachers will be successful.

Will keep you updated with how Monday goes, we are realistic that this is not going to happen over night and are just optimistically hoping that the teachers will at least give it a try. Bye for now and love and happy smiles from me and all the beautiful, cheeky, marvellously strong minded children from Marys!!!

love tess x x x x x x x x x

Schedules, smiles, burns and all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (18th November 2006)

Hi everyone. How are we all, hope your very well and full of joys of Christmas, as bet it's in your face by now, everywhere you go. Ok here we go...

So this week was the first week where we tried to implement the new schedule. So it starts at 8am which of course (stupid us as we made it!!) means me and Laura have to meet at 7.15am to get there on time, which is something we have to do just now if we are going to support the teachers and make this happen. The week started a little shaky, and think the teachers were a little overwhelmed with all the new info and just keeping to set times for lessons. But as the week has gone on they have started to respond positively and get really excited about some of the arts activities and music lessons, which is great to see. Quote of the week has to be from Brenda today who during arts class, where they were drawing round their feet on long reams of fax paper and labelling them; she said, 'Wow Tessie this is great, making learning fun!'. How adorable.

Anyway, we have managed to cover all lessons and the theme is being followed also, although there have been some awkward moments for me, i.e. when writing the family members on the board, that then needed to be placed into sentences. Things like 'I have a mother her name is ruth' and 'My father is a builder' seem so absurd to be writing as most of them don't have parents. But they still need to learn this stuff I suppose!

Anyway, yesterday there was a major accident which ended in tears and caused my stomach to roll today. Yesterday Salvine, who is a 1 1/2 yr old, was running about at the back of the room. The kids had just finished break and porridge time, and the teachers were getting ready for class and having some tea and bread…the tea was put on the back table and little Salvine was clambering about and pulled herself up by the table leg, grabbed above her and pulled the boiling cup of tea down, which fell all over her chin, neck and chest!!! Obviously deafening screams followed and everyone ran over... her skin was literally peeling off and was white underneath. Macarena ran with her to the nearest clinic.

Basically she is ok but she is scared. I went with the mother today back to the clinic for the 2nd treatment. The mother came out of the treatment room crying as she couldn't bare to watch, so I went in with Salvine. They cleaned it and pulled off the dead skin round the edges and then put cream on…but oh my, my stomach was in my throat, it just looked so painful and this tiny thing is lying there, with no idea of what is going on. The doctor said it is healing well though and because she's so young, the skin should grow back, which is great. So we are going back on Monday.

We were a teacher short today, and Kennedy the male teacher who started has swiftly left!!!! Bye bye to the surrogate dad! NO he had applied to college and was accepted so he can't teach any more. And was so funny yesterday watching him work with the smaller kids he just looked so awkward, I think his heart wasn't really in it so is better if he goes on to other things.

Good news on the funding and sponsorship front. All my emails and begging have paid off I think! GVN are going to help us set up a sponsorship scheme for the kids at Mary's, where a profile on each of the children will go on the web site including updated info about the school and people can sponsor the kids through this and the money goes toward supporting the school, the kids and paying for supplies, which is so exciting, so I have kind of roped myself into that also but will be a great thing if it all goes through. So if anyone is feeling broody and wants to adopt through the internet let me know!!! Hee hoo.

Today I was a wee cook, as we were short handed, Laura puked all the way to school so she went home to bed, and so I made porridge this morning and washed up. Then lunch and washed up which is a mammoth job! All 85 plates, cups, 2 metal cooking pots the size of Jamaica, and with one pot of water which was filled with all kinds of things at the end that you just don't want to know about. I also washed the whole floor with a rag, umm will spare you the details on this also, wasn't pleasant. I was full on sweating when I'd finished and was praised for my Kenyan like hard work!! hee hee they all laugh, saying I carry the water, I clean on my hands and knees...well you got to get stuck in and do it like the locals!

So left and took the baby to the clinic and finished at the school about 4pm so was long tiring day and lets just say I'm glad it's the weekend! I love Kibera and all its fruitiness but there comes a time in the week when the frying 2 week old fish smells, the dead squashed dogs and the smell of rotting garbage and human poo poo just start to get to you!

So going to lesson plan for all of next week this weekend so we don't have to do it after school, cos' that is just too tiring. Ok that's about it for this week…oh apart from the exciting news about my flat!!!! Well I was already feeling a bit of cabin fever, sharing a room with 2 volunteers in a flat the size of a peanut where its like the walls don't exist.. And got to move to Alice's room where I thought I would be able to be on my own for like 1 hour just to read, think, stretch, what ever... well get home last night and there is another addition to the Alice's house hold.. there are 7 of us all in all... in a 2 bed flat, with a bunk bed and single bed in each room and about enough space to swing an ant!!!!!! There goes my ME TIME!!! Will just have to sit on the side of the road and meditate and think of large open spaces and silence!!!!

Yeay.. good times (GT's GT's!!!!)

Love to every single one of you. Am loving all that I am experiencing and its definitely that big challenge I was looking for!! Smiles and happy thoughts, wrap up and look after yourselves all my love tess